Written by Let’s have a heart-to-heart, entrepreneur to entrepreneur. Sometimes, despite the pep talks and late-night grind, failure creeps in like an uninvited party guest – loud, disruptive, and leaving you to clean up the mess. It’s rough. Forget that – it’s brutal, but here’s the thing – feeling the full weight of that disappointment? It’s not just okay; it’s necessary.
Feeling All the Feels
So, you’ve hit a snag, and suddenly you’re on a first-name basis with defeat. Your mind’s running a marathon with thoughts like “What now?” and “Why me?” Take a deep breath. It’s time to sit with those feelings, because trying to outrun them is like sprinting on a treadmill – you’ll get nowhere fast. Acknowledge the sadness, frustration, and anger. They’re all signs that you care deeply about what you do, and that’s something to be proud of.
Moment of truth – if you didn’t care, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Take a moment to think of past disappointments, losses, failures, break-ups. Not trying to pour salt into the wound, I promise there is a point to this. The moments that came into your mind first were the ones that had the most impact. Those people, places, and things contributed to who you are, why you now do what you do, and carved a lesson (good or bad) into your soul.
My point?
For the memories that didn’t surface, the events that didn’t conjure but at one point felt significant – you may not have cared as much as you thought. Does it mean you didn’t care at all? Of course not; but, it does mean that it didn’t transform you nearly as much. That is how you know your business isn’t just some fly-by-night idea or a method to kill boredom. It is a part of you and that is why failure hurts more than you thought it could (or should).
The Art of Reframing Failure
Now, let’s paint a new picture. Unless you are still in the beginning of your formative years, you already know failure is not the end – it’s more like a detour sign on the road to success. The key is in the reframing. Think of it as gathering intel for your next big move. It’s a chance to grow roots deeper into the soil of business wisdom, making you sturdier for the storms ahead. Ask yourself, “What can this teach me?” That’s how a stumble turns into a masterclass.
Take a step back and look at the entire experience as a whole and then break it into parts. Formulate a timeline to better assess the events that took place. Did you have all the information? Was something missed? Could a different decision have been made? Could you have waited? Should you have acted sooner? Again, these questions are solely for your lesson plan and should not be weaponized! Leave the blame game on the playground.
Owning It
Stop with the finger pointing, the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s uttered simply to tear yourself down, and the self-loathing.It happened – own it! We are not infallible, we are not omnipotent (sorry to be the bearer of bad news), we are human and we are going to get it wrong sometimes. Embrace your story, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Being accountable doesn’t mean beating yourself up. Again, it’s about looking at the blueprint of your failed endeavor and spotting where the cracks formed. This is how the best leaders strategize. Understanding what went belly-up is your secret weapon for the next round.
Support: The Entrepreneur’s Lifeline
Going solo might be your thing, but when it comes to the rough patches, there’s no prize for toughing it out alone. Lean on friends, family, and mentors.
This is also where having entrepreneurial friends is crucial.
They are the people who get it, who’ve been there. They’re your sounding board, your cheering squad, and sometimes, your gentle reality check. I have been floored by the love and support I have seen within a Facebook Group after someone has shared their fallout.
Virtually or in-person, there likely are several business and networking groups in your area that are ready to stand in your corner.
If you do find that the load feels too emotionally heavy, a therapist or coach may be the better option to help you unpack the baggage.
Steer clear of the naysayers and the “I told you so” crowd. Whether or not you want to believe you are in a moment of vulnerability, this is the time to remove any toxicity from your regrouping space and focus on a clean and solid rebuild. You can’t build with confidence if there are cracks in the foundation.
The Comeback
And finally, the comeback. You’ve grieved, you’ve learned, and now it’s time to turn the page on failure. There’s a spark of an idea somewhere in you, a flicker of the next big thing. Fan those flames and take the leap again. Remember, every author of a Forbes success story has had their moments of doubt, but what they all have in common is the guts to say, “Let’s roll,” no matter how many nos they’ve faced.
Entrepreneurship is not a sprint; it’s a marathon with hurdles. And sometimes, you trip. But it’s the getting up that counts, dusting off, and sprinting forward with a new understanding of the track. So let’s raise a glass to the failures, for they are the unsung teachers of the greatest successes.
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