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As a former corporate hamster, one thing I’ve noticed more and more in the freelancer world is the rise in unprofessional correspondence. In corporate America (or most jobs where you’re an employee and handle client or consumer communication), accountability is everything. What you send, say, or do can easily be your undoing. Pulling from the basic concept of an agency/principal relationship, what you do on the job represents the company as a whole. It wasn’t “John Smith” who was rude; it was the customer service rep at XYZ Company. It wasn’t “Jane Smith” who provided terrible service; it was the teller/server/cashier at ABC Business. When we voice our discontent through Google or Yelp reviews, we’re not addressing Jane or John personally; we’re posting for those considering ABC and XYZ to meet their needs.
Because of this, companies have started implementing crisis management plans for social media and online reviews. They know how quickly an interaction, especially a negative one, can go viral and hurt their reputation. They recognize that, despite rigorous training, mistakes happen and disgruntled employees exist. Whether we realized it or not, each workbook, team training session, or meeting emphasized the importance of business etiquette and the consequences of not following protocol. Even if we didn’t directly experience repercussions, we’ve likely witnessed a peer face consequences for “going rogue.”
As small business owners or freelancers, we don’t have that big “sibling” watching over us. For those who haven’t had higher-level training, there’s often no inner voice reminding us to be mindful of what we post, to consider how tone can be misinterpreted in an email, and to remember how much weight words can carry. We aren’t reminded of the biggest lesson of all: once you hit “send,” there’s no going back (even with an undo or unsend option, which is often time-limited). Sometimes we don’t understand the gravity of the situation until the fallout occurs – like a string of correspondences I witnessed the morning this was written.
Before I dive into that, I want to explain why this situation was more damaging than the freelancer may have realized. By now, you probably know I need to go five miles out of the way to make my point, so bear with me. While I don’t consider myself a “center cog” (something I heard at a networking event) or even a cog at all – more like that extra screw IKEA includes just to mess with your head – I’m a B2B business owner and part of several networking groups. This means I’m frequently asked for referrals and recommendations across nearly every area a freelancer might serve. I see referrals as a reflection of myself, my business values, and my professional relationships. In short, I put a lot of thought into who I refer.
When working with clients, they’ll sometimes bring in subcontractors for web design, copywriting, graphic design, or admin support. As I work alongside these freelancers, I observe how they engage, the quality of work they deliver, and how they represent themselves – and, by extension, their business. When other clients or associates in networking groups ask for a referral, these individuals are the first to come to mind because I’ve seen them in action. But by the same token, I also get a front-row seat to any issues and who not to refer. I’ve witnessed terminations, some minor, some dramatic (I actually had to stop an escalating argument between a freelancer and client during a Zoom meeting!). I’ve seen the aftermath, cleaned up messes, and consoled clients who were frustrated and couldn’t understand where they went wrong – even after checking references. I keep these individuals in mind as ones to avoid, and if, for any reason, someone contacts me because the freelancer has listed me as a reference, I respond professionally and honestly (while not disclosing any private information) that I cannot recommend that person.
Now, back to the situation that inspired this long post. On the day I wrote this, I signed into my inbox to find an incredibly unprofessional email sent by a recently terminated freelancer to a client. It was clear that emotions were running high in a “you said/I said” situation. The freelancer, it turned out, hadn’t realized they were terminated because they hadn’t received a scheduled termination email, which my client thought had been sent. When the freelancer found out by other means, they retaliated with a scathing email. This message insulted my client both personally and professionally – and was apparently sent to me as well so that, and I quote, “would know who I was working with,” in an attempt to add shame to insult by exposing my client’s behavior.
There’s no way – no matter how angry I am – that I would send an email like that, even if I were firing a client. First, that email is now “out there.” My client could share it with her network, warning others not to work with this freelancer. With an email list of at least 7,000 and over 20,000 followers, that reach is significant. Second, my client is a subject matter expert who’s highly regarded in her field; she’s been featured in Forbes, Huffington Post, and has lectured at universities and on behalf of LinkedIn. People in her industry turn to her for guidance. Not only did this freelancer burn a bridge that could have helped expand their business, they essentially videotaped themselves dancing on the ashes.
All of this could have been avoided by simply taking time before hitting “send.” Yes, I understand the freelancer was blindsided and angry. Yes, the situation could have been handled better by all parties involved. But I can’t condone how that frustration was expressed. If this had happened in corporate America, that individual would have been out on their rear-end before the ink dried on the pink slip.
So, what should this freelancer have done? Simple: write the email, then walk away. This isn’t a new concept – I’ve mentioned it in a previous post. Take a walk, exercise, do something to defuse the anger, and then come back to reread the email. Hopefully, the emotion will have dissipated, allowing for a calmer rewrite. If detaching emotionally is still hard, use ChatGPT! Paste in the email and ask for a professional rewrite that still conveys the main point while devoid of all emotion. You don’t need to be silenced, especially if you’re frustrated, but you also don’t need to stoop to kindergarten insults to make your case.
Just to wrap up the story, my client replied to the crass email with professionalism and grace, and wisely cc’d the individual who initially recommended the freelancer – just so they were aware of how their referral was reflecting on them. The freelancer (why – I have no idea) replied again with the same vicious tone, and at that point, I threw my hands up. He had the opportunity to take a step back, apologize for the initial email, and attempt to rectify the situation, but instead, he doubled down.
The worst part? I’ve seen this same situation shared in Facebook Groups, with freelancers being blatantly rude to clients or, in some cases, clients being blatantly rude to freelancers. In the latter situations, I’ve actually declined working with clients because of what I’ve heard from others. Simply put: people talk! Be mindful of what you say and do. As small business owners, we are a reflection of our business – we are not on Mount Olympus, looking down at mere mortals. You can’t do what you want, say what you want, and not expect ramifications for those actions.
Yes, I am aware there are a few people who come to mind that are proving the contrary to this, but they should not be the excuse or the bar. We need to do better – be better – and hold ourselves accountable. You worked hard to create and grow your business; don’t watch it go down in a blaze of glory over one email. Other people can do what you do; it’s how you do it that makes you different.
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